it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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