Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
