She announced her abortion via fbk
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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