She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
