he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
