Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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