On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
