you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dear god my vagina.
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