Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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