the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
