how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
