Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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