I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
