Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
