Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
