are you still at the devil's house?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
