Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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