His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
