So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
