good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
