There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
