i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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