he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
