worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
