Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
