His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
