i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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