before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
