he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You need a sexual gate keeper
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
