She is in my trunk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
