I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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