xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
