I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
