I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
