batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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