His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
