I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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