He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
