I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
