she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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