unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
