Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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