road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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