Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
