Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
