yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
