I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
