Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
