Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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