areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he fucked my hip out of place.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
